Weight Loss Battle

I have a shoulder angel. She talks to me. Sometimes it is encouragement and at others it is corrective. I call her Honey, Dearest, M’love, My Queen, or whatever sounds most appropriate or poetic for the moment. She is my wife.

My shoulder angel says that I am concerned about way too many things regarding my weight loss. She is correct, that I am considering so many factors. Desperation will do that. I am 63 and a life long warrior against obesity. Not a good one, mind you. Obesity has won every conflict so far. As I am getting closer to the final chapter I have a sense of desperation to finally conquer my life long foe.

Other than Navy Bootcamp and amoebic dysentery the best results in weight loss came from observing a ketogenic way of eating. It worked until it didn’t. Tracking macros and intermittent fasting became tedious. Reading labels with my eyesight? Preposterous. Then there was the “break” for the holidays. Then a break because we were away from home. Then the break because we had already been on a break. It wasn’t long before I gained back over two thirds of the weight I had lost.

Four years of steady gains in the tonnage department and I settled on carnivore. It made me feel better than I had in years. It was simple. There was no question whether something was carnivore or not. Forget the ant track writing on those pesky labels. Meat, butter, and eggs. Simple. I lost a quick bit of weight and then it stopped again. I think the problem was my appetite. Yes, I have an eating disorder. It is something that torments my mind. My body feels better at a lower weight but my mind is never at rest with small enough portions to control or to lose.

My oft ally and sometimes foe in my war has been the VA. That is where I receive all of my medical attention and medications. I am a disabled veteran. Lately, their “assistance” in my weight loss journey has been a rollercoaster. Since I am a type 2 diabetic there have been medications. The last being Ozempic. It was prescribed for diabetes, but anyone who knows anything about these things knows that it is nearly a miracle for weight loss. Then, instead of it being a pharmacist thing, it became a thing with the weight loss doctor in the VA. They would not allow me to increase to an effective dose for weight loss on the Ozempic. It cost too much and was in short supply. Sad, because it actually quieted the beast in my head that would scream for food.

I was switched to Contrave, a combination of two psychoactive medications, one for depression and the other for weight loss. I started it. It wasn’t as helpful as the Ozempic, but with my strict adherence to a carnivore diet, my blood sugars being under control, and what little help it gave I was able to continue to lose a modest amount off further weight. Then came the VA gremlin, which canceled appointments, ignored my messages, and then came up with unworkable plans. My medication was not able to be delivered. I ran out. If you have ever gone cold turkey off a depression medication you know why this was a big issue.

I guess my medication will be here in a few more days. Right now I am fighting the beast and trying to keep my appetite at bay. I cannot seem to motivate to exercise like I was. Most of the time I don’t even want to be awake. It will pass. I’ll keep you posted, that is only if you are interested. I don’t think I am going to write too many articles on this subject. I don’t want to bore you. I don’t want to bore me. I’ve got enough to deal with. Anyway, good luck on your journey.